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"Secret Santa" is the thirteenth and numerically final episode of Season Two of SyFy's Warehouse 13, that aired on December 7, 2010.

Synopsis[]

Pete and Myka hunt down a malevolent artifact-wielding Santa Claus and come to the aid of a businessman. Meanwhile, Artie is reunited with his estranged father Isadore (Izzy) after 30 years.

Plot[]

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Pete and Myka arrive at Warehouse 13. Pete isn’t thrilled about winter, but Myka loves it. When they arrive at the office, they discover that Claudia is decorating using artifacts. Her brother Joshua has come to visit. Claudia warns Myka and Pete to avoid the artifact mistletoe and admits that it’s the first time she can spend time with people in her life on the holidays. They tell her that they’re going home for Christmas, much to her disappointment. She figures she and her brother can hang with Artie. When he arrives, she tries to give him the coat she made, but he’s not in the Christmas spirit. Artie wanders under the mistletoe and ends up kissing Joshua and tells them to take everything down.

In Los Angeles, Larry Newley is working and talking to his daughter Kallie via webcam. She wonders why he isn’t there for the tree trimming, and Larry says that her mother Lila made it up. He says that he has to get the new mall constructed, but he loves her. Once he signs off, he hears something in the house. He goes to investigate, and an intruder attacks him. Larry tries to shoot him without affect, and can then only watch as the intruder laughs, turns into a ball of light, and flies up the chimney. Behind Larry, the word "Naughty" appears on the wall and bursts into flame.

Artie arrives at the B&B to tell Pete and Myka that they can’t go home because they have a case. He reads the report of the incident and shows them a sketch of the criminal: Santa Claus.

At the warehouse, Claudia and Joshua wonder about Artie’s childhood, and Leena shows them a photo of Artie as a child, happily playing the piano. Claudia decides to track down the brand of piano and talk to all of the piano tuners in Philadelphia. Leena warns that there’s a lot of them, but Claudia insists on finding the piano and giving it to Artie as a Christmas present.

Pete and Myka interview Larry in his home, and he explains that intruder whooshed up the chimney. Larry says that he has any number of enemies, including a man named Wilkie who owns one of the shops that he’s having torn down for his mall. They go to see Wilkie, who looks a bit like Santa. Larry says he’s paying him a more than fair amount, but Wilkie insists that it’s a family business and he doesn’t want to sell. In response, Larry says that he and the other local owners will be evicted so he can build a mall.

The trio goes to Larry’s office, and Larry insists that mom-and-pop stores are all but extinct. Myka, growing up in that kind of store, isn’t sympathetic. As he goes into his office, a glowing red ball emerges from the vent and goes into the office, terrorizing Larry. The agents go in after him and see the ball of energy turn into a ghostly Santa Claus. He calls Larry "Larry Noodle" and says that he’s disappointed in him, and he’s not being the man that "they" deserve. He tells Larry to change his life or he’ll take it from him, and then flies out the window. Pete wonders if they just saw the real Santa.

The agents call Artie, who confirms there was a real St. Nicholas but also legends of darker imps. He promises to continue doing research on the matter, and figures that Claudia is gone because she’s planning some new surprise for him for Christmas. Meanwhile, Larry’s ex-wife Lila calls and ask why he broke his promise to Kallie to trim the tree. Larry insists he made no such promise and Myka suggests that Lila might be using the artifact and holding a grudge. Pete suggests that they go Lila’s home and he and Larry will keep Kallie occupied while Myka talks to Lila.

Claudia and Joshua track the piano to a music school in Philadelphia. It has Artie’s initials carved in the wood, and Claudia offers to buy it. The owner, Isadore Weisfelt, comes to talk to her, and Claudia quickly realizes that he’s Artie’s father. She decides to get Artie a new Christmas present.

At Lila’s house, Kallie serves fruitcake to Pete, who eats it to be polite. She finally explains that she didn’t make it. Meanwhile, Myka helps Lila decorate the tree, and Lila talks about how Larry and Kallie used to scour swap meets for antique ornaments. When Myka mentions the name "Larry Noodle," Lila explains that it was Larry’s high school nickname, and they were happy when they had nothing. Now only money matters to Larry.

As Joshua arrives, Izzy insists that Artie left without an explanation, and that he doesn’t want to see his son. Claudia lies and says that Artie’s dying, and she came to give Izzy the chance to say goodbye to his son. Izzy gives in and agrees to see his dying son.

Pete finds Larry in the backyard, making calls to close his deal. He insists that he’s working hard so that Kallie can get everything she wants. The red ball emerges from a vent and tells Larry that he’s given him every chance. As Larry gestures at him, his hand starts to fade away. Myka hears his screams and runs outside. Meanwhile, Pete grabs Larry’s wrist and the businessman’s hand solidifies. Before Santa can finish his threat, Myka tasers him from behind. She removes his beard and reveals that it’s Newley. Larry Claus transforms back into light, says Larry has until midnight, knocks the businessman into the pool, and flies away.

The agents seal the house as best they can to stop Larry Clause from getting in. Pete contacts Artie, who suggests that they’re dealing with identity transfer and Larry could disappear entirely the next time. Artie tells them to keep Larry locked up until after midnight, and then goes to the B&B. He discovers that his father is there, and draws Claudia aside. Artie wants Claudia to undo what she’s done, but Claudia lies and says that Izzy is dying. Artie reluctantly goes in and admits that it’s good to see him. Izzy embraces him.

As they guard Larry, Peter admits that he wishes that his dad had been there for him every day, but never had the chance. Myka’s was too busy when she was a child, and now that she’s an adult she doesn’t have enough time to be with him. There’s a knock on the door and they cautiously answer it: it’s Wilkie, who is there to thank Larry for calling off the demolition. It’s Larry’s signature, but he insists that it isn’t his. Larry opens the door to usher Wilkie out, and Larry Clause grabs him and sweeps him up into the sky.

Izzy and Artie bond in the study, and they both admit it’s a shame they have so little time left. However, they soon realize that neither one of them is dying, and Izzy complains that Artie threw away a career at Julliard to work for the government. Claudia tries to break them up, and they both bond to turn on her.

Pete and Myka try to figure out where Larry Clause took Larry. Myka remembers looking at the ornaments, and they go back to see Kallie and Lila. One of the ornaments is of a submarine, and has a photo of Larry in a Santa. Lila explains that her husband used to dress up as Santa for the neighboring kid. Pete examines the ornament and realizes that it’s made from shell casings from the Christmas Ceasefire of World War I, where the two sides formed a truce to celebrate Christmas. The power of the incident gave the artifact its power. They realize that Kallie wished for things to be like when Larry was posing as Santa, the year before Larry opened his first mall. They realize that Larry Clause considers the mall his home, and head off, taking the ornament with them.

At the mall, Larry Clause ties Larry to a Santa throne and explains that Larry never kept his promises to trim the tree and stop the evictions. Now Kallie is going to get the father she deserves, and Larry Clause will take his identity and his life. As Larry starts to fade away, Pete and Myka arrive. Pete goes to grab Larry, giving him human contact to restore him, while Myka bags the ornament. Larry Clause creates two giant nutcracker soldiers, and Myka bags the artifact. Nothing happens, and Myka explains that Kallie wished for her father to be there. Larry Clause says that the world will be a better place with him. Kallie arrives and refuses to let her father go. She runs right through the soldiers, and Larry Clause tells her that her father will never be there for her. Kallie says it doesn’t matter, and blames herself for what’s happening. The fading Larry wonders what good money is there, if he’s not part of her life. He admits he wants to be there for her, and Kallie and Lila run to hug him. Larry Clause disappears as Larry is reunited with his family.

Later, Pete and Myka return to the B&B, and Myka insists that they don’t open presents until after dinner. Artie arrives wearing Claudia’s coat, even though it doesn’t fit. Artie tells Izzy that the work he’s doing is good work, and Izzy accepts that. He explains that Artie walking away from music was hard, and Artie shows him the music he was working on. Izzy tells him to play it, but can’t resist kibitzing. Claudia gives out her Christmas presents early: a t-shirt with a picture of the artifact that almost killed one of each of them.

As Leena brings in the turkey, Myka admits that she’s sorry that Peter couldn’t spend time with his family. He says it’s okay because he is spending time with loved one. Everyone sits down to eat and celebrate the holidays together.  

Source: http://orma.iasfbo.inaf.it:7007/~mauro/TV/PDF/ENDED/WH13.pdf

Cast[]

Main Cast[]

Guest Starring[]

  • Judd Hirsch as Izzy Weisfelt
  • Paul Blackthorne as Larry Newley

Co-Starring[]

  • Tyler Hynes as Joshua
  • Jameson Kraemer as Alternate Santa
  • Jaime Bloch as Kallie
  • Kirsti Angus as Lila
  • Majoria Chan as Marla
  • Mark Wilson as Wilkie

Artifacts and Gadgets Featured[]

  • Christmas Truce Submarine Ornament: A small but incredibly potent artifact; it has the power to grant wishes and has a desire to make the world more harmonious and a better place. It is the main artifact of the episode.
  • Swiss Miss Mug: When the cup is shaken, it summons a blizzard-like flurry of marshmallow and cocoa-flavored snow. Claudia nicknamed it the "Swiss Miss-Hap in a Cup".
  • Muhammad Ali's Boxing Gloves: Makes you see stars without hitting you.
  • Original Mistletoe: Causes people under the mistletoe to forcefully kiss each other. According to Claudia, "it is rather strong" - demonstrated when Artie (under its influence) grabs Josh and plants one on him.

Trivia[]

  • According to writer Ian Stokes, this episode takes place sometime before "Vendetta".[1]
    • "The one where Picard becomes a Borg" refers to the Star Trek: The Next Generation episode "The Best of Both Worlds", in which Captain Jean-Luc Picard is assimilated into the robotic Borg collective. It is unclear if this is purely a joke, or if it may be referring to "13.1", in which Hugo Miller had previously attempted to copy his brain into the Warehouse's computer, and then the subsequent "A.I." he created attempted to assimilate the rest of him into it.
  • Claudia wears a shirt[2] featuring the robot E.M.O. from sister show Eureka. This further confirms that this episode takes place after "13.1".
  • The photograph of a young Artie playing his old piano can be seen in his Main Office loft bedroom in "Love Sick".
    • The brand of piano that Artie used to play and Claudia searches for is named Glückklavier.
      • Glück is German for "luck" or "happiness", and klavier translates to "piano". Together, the brand name means literally "lucky piano".
  • The song playing during the Los Angeles introduction scene is Go, Santa Go! by Howell-Freundlich Overdrive.
  • Pete claims his "kid sister" loves stocking-stuffers, but he's only established to have a single sister, Jeannie, who is older than him.
  • Isadore claims he hasn't seen Artie in 30 years, which Leena earlier claims to have occurred when Artie joined the NSA after Isadore sent him to Julliard. As this episode takes place in 2009 or 2010, this would suggest they stopped talking to each other around 1979-1980., implicitly very soon after Artie joined the NSA.
    • However, Artie joined the NSA, and was then arrested, sometime in the 1970s. By the various accounts given throughout the series both before and after this episode, Artie joined the Warehouse (after an indeterminate amount of time already having worked for the NSA) before this date.
      • However, this episode could have taken place before 2009 or 2010, which would match this timeline.

Quotable Quotes[]

Pete: The dude enters and exits through chimneys! He travels across the rooma s fairy dust. Look, Artie, this was the real Santa, okay? Oh, and by the way, be nice, because Santa is bad-ass.


Myka: You're making a Christmas list in your head right now, aren't you?
Pete: Maybe.
Myka: He threatened Newley's life.
Pete: Well, the guy is a bit of a tool.


Pete: All doors, vents, and windows sealed. No fairy-dust getting in. You think this'll keep him out?
Artie:You're asking me how Santa Claus works?
Pete:Hey, I was wrong, Artie. This isn't Santa Claus. Santa's nice. This is... Larry Claus.


Pete struggling to eat the fruitcake
something cracks
Pete: Ow... I mean... 'ow delicious is this, lassie? Oh, I love it, it's-
Larry's daughter: Dude, it's not like I baked it.
Pete: Oh, thank God.
spits it out


Claudia: He had to change his name! Do you know he did that to protect you?
Artie's Father: Yeah? From what? Oh, never mind, I don't wanna know!
Claudia: He'll explain it to you. There's your ice-breaker!
Artie's father: My ice-breaker? How 'bout I break his neck, huh? He wanted me to believe he's dead, so he's dead!
Claudia: Not yet, but soon! He's dying.
Surprised look on Joshua's face
Claudia: That's right. Artie's dying. I-I came here to beg you to see him.. to say goodbye... to your son... dying...
Joshua: Claudia... you sure you should be telling him that?
Claudia: Artie's dad deserves the truth.
Joshua: Yeah, I agree, he does, but Artie might get a little angry.
Claudia: If I tell him everything?
Artie's father: There's more?
Claudia: Oh yes... that Artie is too ashamed to call you himself... that he's going to take that guilt to his grave... after he dies...
Artie's Father: Alright. Alright, you wait here, and I will come with you.
Joshua: You are going to hell.
Claudia (excited): I know!
Later
Artie: What have you done? What gives you the right?
Claudia: I thought you wanted to see him. You wrote him that song.
Artie: Piano Nocturne? I would've contacted him on my own time!
Claudia: He's even older than you are, how much time do you think he's got?
Artie: Well you are going to undo whatever it is you did!
Joshua comes walking down the stairs
Claudia: Artie, he's dying.
Joshua: Holy mother of God.
Claudia: Joshua knows too.


References[]

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